Ever feel like as soon as things just start to get better , they get fucked up again?
Yea, me too. Before we get into all that’s going on let me fill you in a little…I know it’s been a while lol
For those who don’t know, I been with my boyfriend Fresh for sometime now and boy has this been a hell of an adventure so far!
Like in many other cases, fresh had his eyes on me for a few years before we started dating. I guess he’s seen me on a few occasions and tried approaching me but I cut that real short since I was in a relationship at the time
I laughed when he told me about the times he saw me because I literally do not remember one bit. I’m extremely loyal so there was no surprise when he told me I completely ignored him 😭
But like the saying goes, good things happen to those who wait!
Story time: Meeting my boyfriend Fresh
I can honestly say, I am definitely a little harder to get to know because I know men are usually full of shit 🥴😭 and I’m also pretty guarded
I surprised myself the day I gave him my phone number after he jumped in my dm (I know, super cliche 😭)
After speaking on the phone for a few minutes I knew I wanted him to be around for a little while… our birthdays are literally 4 days apart so our personalities are almost the same
That’s definitely something we clicked on immediately
Everything was effortless with him… Conversations, the laughs, the jokes, just everything
We literally could not stay off the phone / FaceTime and it felt good. I could tell he felt the same
I was so used to guys trying to impress me, they forgot to be themselves but fresh never did, and I really liked him for who HE was
We went on our first date after a few days of talking on the phone. & I kid you not, he made it a priority to see me at least once every single day after that. Weather it was to take me out somewhere, bring me lunch at work, bring me a charger because my phone was dying.. whatever it was he made an excuse so that he had a reason to see me lol
We never spent a day apart since after our first date. At this time I’ve been single for two years and sure I met some really good people but never anyone like Fresh or close to him
Men talk a good one especially in the beginning but it’s rarely ever backed up with consistency.
It was refreshing to meet someone who did literally everything they said, someone who never went over an hour without checking on me or seeing how my day was going. I felt important
He put me on a pedestal since day one and I’ve never come down from it
Everything happened pretty fast but that’s because it was natural and we both felt the same way about eachother. A few days after we got intimate, we basically ended up living together. Our kids met and loved playing together, our families met and everyone got along…things couldn’t have been better
Every single day we were together from sun up to sun down, we did everything together and always craved eachothers energy
5 months of being together felt more like 5 years. We went through SOOOO MUCH in that amount of time, somethings I can’t even mention because it’s too crazy but I can confidently say it made us stronger.. But nothing compared to the test we are currently facing
A more serious matter..
Fresh has been on federal probation for over a year and as a result of that he was on a ankle monitor / curfew forcing him to be home by 8pm everyday.
There would be many times where he’d ask for a curfew extension because he’d want to take me out somewhere or do something fun with the kids… his po would always grant him the extension but what we did not know is that it would backfire later
Although Fresh has a extreme past criminal record he has completely changed his life around since we met. I would know because we spent every second of every minute together since end of February. That’s why we were almost positive they would take him off of the bracelet at his upcoming court date..
We were wrong.
In addition to changing his life, he filed to open up a business and got himself a job working with me for a homecare company. Things were so good and I was super proud of all of his efforts to become a better person/ citizen! I was excited to bring all the proof of these life changes to court and show them all he’s been working on
I really did have a good feeling about court!
It’s the morning of court, we get showered, dressed, and head out of the house. I know he wasn’t feeling too confident about court but I realize it was a little worse than I thought when he took a shot before leaving the house to calm his nerves..
We hold hands walking up to the building I tell him to bow his head so that I can say a prayer out loud for him. This bracelet has kept him as a prisoner in his own life not allowing him to do so many things, we’re hoping this was finally the end of it I’m excited to experience even more together!
We walk into the building and things feel different.. I no longer feel good about court and I’m not sure why but I don’t say anything because I know he’s nervous and I didn’t want to make it worse
Once we walk upstairs and see his lawyer shit shifts FAST. His lawyer is basically cursing him out about not enrolling in school and how important that could be when it comes to his freedom
We both look at eachother worried and walk into court side by side. I sit behind him and listen very closely to what everyone had to say
It was bad. It went all the way left. I never expected this. They painted him to be a monster. A cold hearted human that is doing nothing positive in life
I couldn’t believe it, I witnessed the change with my own two eyes and I see all he does on a daily basis so I just could not believe everything that was going on and being said
Him working wasn’t enough for them because it was part-time instead of fulltime, Not getting into any trouble with police or in general wasn’t enough because he was a few minutes late coming home even though he was granted an extension on those days, and lastly him filing for his business wasn’t enough because he was not enrolled in school.
It was so fucking confusing and frustrating
These things are all so petty but what we did not know is that they were terms of his probation… Not complying with these things would mean he’s basically breaking the rules / violating his probation and the consequences to that is jail time
We had no fucking clue we were so naïve we thought if he wasn’t getting in trouble that’s all that mattered… wrong again
Just like that, the judge sentenced him to 8 months in federal prison all the way in Road Island.
Both me and him cried our eyes out in the court room, filled with anger and confusion we just looked at eachother helpless. Literally the worst feeling. We went from planning the rest of our day and possibly planning a trip to celebrate his freedom to him being ripped away by officers for almost an entire year
How the fuck did this happen, life has a way of switching shit up on you in a split second. I just could not believe it
I will never forget that feeling. I asked the lawyer to help me I asked a few people to help and they said there was nothing to do, he’s already been sentenced. I looked around and noticed Fresh was gone and I ran out to find him. Running down the hall, I saw him get into the elevator and I ran as fast as I could calling his name so he’d turn around and see me, we told eachother we loved eachother and the elevator doors closed right after that
I grabbed his belongings and walked out of the courthouse. Once I got outside I broke tf down. I cried like a baby I did not care who saw me or who was out there.. I felt sick, like I was in a nightmare. “Please tell me it’s a lie God” I said to myself as I sat on the steps with my head in my hands, tears dropping on my lap like it was raining
In reality, sure 8 months isn’t forever but who cares. We didn’t expect him to be gone for even a day! Can you imagine 8 whole months!?!
We went from being together every second, falling asleep in eachothers arms for the past 5 months and waking up together. We NEVER missed a day, to now this..
Felt like the END of the world to us. We are extremely clingy, theres nothing we didn’t do together!
We now had to rewire ourselves but how do you do that one for the past five months you’ve been accustomed to something totally different?
Man I felt lost. I gathered myself and walked to my car… All his things in my hands, his jewelry, phones, money, belt, everything. I just couldn’t believe what was happening.. Please let this be a mistake I kept saying. It wasn’t though. It was very much my reality
They took my baby
To make matters worse he was not able to call me Until later that night due to travel and processing when I tell you those were the longest hours of my life I am not lying I never went that long without speaking to him… Ever
As I mentioned before, we were both so clingy this was extremely hard on both of us
It took me and him a few weeks to be able to sleep without getting chills / sweats or having constant nightmares. His celly had to speak with me because he just wasn’t doing great. We loved eachother extremely but when he was taking away we realized it was deeper than what we thought
We couldn’t function without eachother.
It took him getting taken away for us to really see what we meant to each other.
One Month Later…
… to be continued